The campaign encourages women to swap ideas and encouragement about how to live their best life.  Creativity is generally a strong suit of mine, but sometimes it’s just nice to get an interesting post idea!

Here’s the prompt: How do you keep/maintain your New Year’s resolutions?

I wrote about a few of my resolutions in this post and this post.  But how do I keep them?

1. I’m generally very thoughtful about resolutions and take them seriously, but as a recovering black and white thinker, I have learned to keep my goals vague enough so that they don’t become a hindrance to my happiness.  For example, I don’t usually make SMART goals (as in specific-measuarable-attainable-realistic-timebound) even though I teach my students about them. I find them too confining and discouraging and stressful if they have all of those components, and I often just throw them out because they’re not improving my life.  I’m motivated enough without all of those components!

2. I make a visual representation of my goals.  In college, I would learn best from making study sheets and writing flashcards.  The act of repetition is important for my learning, so I usually write out my goals on paper and edit them before I reproduce them in a visually appealing way.  Some years, this is an organized document in a pretty font; this year, it’s a bit more artistic.*

*Note that I use that word loosely…

3. I put my visual representation somewhere where I’ll see it. I put my gym’s spinning class schedule on my fridge with my Wednesday morning class highlighted so I can get excited to go throughout the week.  I put Bible verses that I’m trying to learn on my mirror or my car dashboard.  And I put my visual representation in the perfect place: my home office…

…which is right next to the door I have to leave out of every day.

(Clearly, “come up with wildly interesting blog pictures” was not on my list of resolutions.)

But yeah.  I JUST finished this visual representation of my goals on Friday night because I felt like I needed something to remind myself every day of what I’m striving to do.  I plan to take a minute at the door each day before I leave and remind myself of what I’m working towards.

4. I talked about my goals with others.  I’m a HUGE fan of accountability. I always have some private goals, but I like to make some of my goals public.

For example, I’ve told a few friends that I am going to work harder this year at thinking of their needs and reaching out to them instead of being a passive friend.  If I talk about what I want to do, I’m more likely to do it—and others are more likely to encourage and reinforce me when I am doing it.  Plus, it makes for some really interesting and in-depth conversations with others about THEIR goals.  And I love deep conversations!

So there’s what I do! Read how others answered this question here, and feel free to comment and share YOUR ideas!

As part of the Life Well Lived campaign, I also get to offer you the opportunity to enter to win a Kindle Fire! I just got a Kindle Touch for Christmas and have been using it daily, so I would definitely recommend entering the sweepstakes here!

What inspired her to do the work that opened up these amazing opportunities? Her struggle with an eating disorder.

As we talked last night, I opened up to her about my own struggles with an eating disorder, and asked her, “did you ever imagine back then that you’d be HERE?” She smiled and said “no.”  I understood.

When you’re entrapped in an eating disorder, it is so hard to picture your life turning out at all.  It’s much harder to picture a full, beautiful life full of opportunities.

When I was sick, it felt like the only thing I had known was that voice in my head that said I wasn’t good enough, would never be free, didn’t deserve happiness, couldn’t achieve success.  I couldn’t imagine being free from that voice—much less the behaviors that seemed to perform themselves every day.

To recover, I had to picture something I couldn’t imagine at all: a full, beautiful life where my values of compassion and servanthood could be used well, where I would feel satisfied and GOOD about myself, where I would feel passionate and engaged in my every day life, where I would have meaningful relationships and be healthy and at peace.  I didn’t really believe it was possible, but if it was, I wanted to try for it.

We smiled at each other last night—happy, confident women who, years ago, dared to dream that there was something better out there for us.  There was, and I’m so thankful.

I felt God calling me to set aside a quiet place and time for more meditation, prayer, and Bible study than I had been doing.  It wasn’t a voice of “guilt,” but a longing in my heart, one I decided to satisfy.

So, every morning of 2012 so far I’ve gotten up 30 minutes early and dedicated about 45-50 minutes to some activity that connects me with God (prayer journaling, Bible study, reading a Christian book, art, writing…something.)

You know that feeling when you get to see a best friend you’ve been missing so much? That’s how I’ve felt every morning.  It’s been so sweet and precious.

On Saturday I read something that hit me forcefully.  In “Dear Jesus,” Sarah Young writes of a person asking God “show me your glory.”  This is a prayer I prayed constantly as a teenager and young woman. I wanted to be a part of something HUGE for God and know Him better. This desire fueled me to go on mission trips, pursue relationships with Christian mentors, go to a Christian college.

I HAVE seen God’s glory.  All of nature is God’s glory.  People are God’s glory. The church (the real, united body of people who truly try to follow Him) is God’s glory.

In the moments when I can strongly sense God, I think I feel like how Moses must have felt in front of that burning bush: wonder, amazement that He lets me participate, and a sense of complete and utter trust and awe.

Naturally, I’d want to feel this way and see this way all the time, but I don’t, and that can be discouraging sometimes when I feel like I pray over and over again for God to show me His glory again.

Young (writing as she thought Jesus might respond) gave me a fresh take on this longing.  She writes:

“Miracles are not always visible to the naked eye, but those who live by faith can see them clearly.  Living by FAITH, rather than SIGHT, enables you to see my glory. 

Be content with a simple, quiet life.  Instead of shaking the bushes—trying to make things happen—wait to see what I am doing.  I am at work in many areas of your life before you can discern results. 

Trust me by waiting patiently, accepting each moment as a gift from me. When time is right, you will see the results of my handiwork.  You may even get a glimpse of my glory.  

Don’t try to hold on to glory-moments.  Simply enjoy them gratefully, then release them back to me.” 

As I look back on all those years of begging to see His glory, I wonder: how many times did I miss His glory because I was expecting something bigger, flashier, more “powerful?” 

How many times was His glory a gentle whisper of hope and encouragement that I was meant to hold close to my heart and then release? 

As I’ve walked with God all these years, I’ve seen His faithfulness, gentleness, forgiveness, grace, kindness, patience, and strength at work in my life over and over again.  The God who has done all that also stops by my kitchen every morning to open my eyes and help me learn and grow.  If that’s not “glory,” I don’t know what is.

He is always there.  We just have to open our eyes and see.

Goodness, that was a lot of preaching for one day.  Who am I, my husband?!

Glutton for punishment? Head on over to Brittnie’s fabulous blog and check out the guest post I wrote for her last week!

So it’s a New Year, and I’ve been very reflective through prayer, thought, journaling, a church service, conversations, and even an art project…but it hasn’t involved my blog until I read sweet Amy’s answers to these questions and realized that I also wanted to reflect in this way. Please feel free to jack this format, answer it yourself, and e-mail it to me or link to your answers…there are some great questions and it’s a really cool tool! (Thanks Amy!)

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
I don’t know! How’s that for a great start? A few contenders:

My “little” sister visited me in Florida for the first time in April…

Loving on some kids and teens in Belize…

Revisiting my college town for my BFF’s wedding and getting to spend the weekend with so many friends…

(naturally, Starbucks had to be involved…it makes everything better)

Another summer trip to Colorado…

Or…my long weekend with D in Amelia Island.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
I was so fortunate—this was a pretty easy year compared to some that I’ve had. The hardest challenge for me was keeping a balance between my personal, spiritual, work, and ministry life.  I just got promoted to a management position and I foresee more challenges in this area, but at least I am being proactive.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
My sister got engaged on December 26 and I got to help with the proposal.

4. Pick three words to describe 2011.
God loves me.

5. What were the best books you read this year?
At the beginning of the year, I got HOOKED on the Outlander series.  They are not the most Godly of novels (okay, they’re trashy) but I LOVED books 1-4. Then they started getting sucky—so sucky that I eventually stopped reading—but books 1-4 are awesome!

(Photo source)

I also loved the “Jesus Calling” devotional that I used this year.  My mom, sister, and a few friends—including some of you!—were using it too, which made it so much better. My friend Ali would sometimes text me, “Aug 13!” or “January 31!” based on our conversations.  It was great to read in community.

6. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
This year I grew a lot closer to my sister, and I also grew way closer to many of the youth in our youth group.  It is an honor to watch their growth and be granted access into their hearts…and weekends.

However, this year, I also let some of the friendships in my life slide.  This is something I am hoping to correct in 2012.  I may do an additional post on this at some point.

7. What was your biggest change from January to December of this past year?
Definitely my work! Last year in January, I was still employed part-time by my organization. I was hoping to spend the rest of my time writing unless they gave me more opportunities, which they did—my hours and responsibilities were increased pretty much right away in January and since then I’ve moved positions twice.

Writing is definitely on the backburner (or no burner) but I’m happy.  I have a whole life ahead of me to pursue writing and I’ll wait until I feel the itch again.  For example, I think I’d make a great mommy blogger at some point

8. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
I feel like I have gotten better at dealing with my stress and anxiety (you know, because I teach a class on how to manage these things and all…ha.)

9. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
Piggybacking off of the last question, I’ve learned this year that “surrender” is not a one time thing—some days, it needs to be a constant process where I ask for the will to surrender, and that’s okay.  God is always patient with me.

10. In what way(s) did you grow physically?
Let’s just say my “Four Pack Challenge” is coming along nicely.  I’m SO not comfortable putting a photo of my abs on the Internet, but if you were here, I would tell you to punch me while I flexed.

Your hand would hurt.

11. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
The Interwebz.  I have a little “internet addiction,” for sure!

13. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?
This will sound cheesy, but I just learned to trust God more and to seek His face and His will in every circumstance.

 15. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2011 for you.
“I have instructed you to give thanks for everything. There is an element of mystery in this transaction: You give Me thanks (regardless of your feelings) and I give you Joy (regardless of your circumstances.) Thankfulness opens your heart to My presence and your mind to My thoughts.”

I didn’t write this (it’s from Jesus Calling) but it summarizes my year.

What about you?! Care to tackle a question (or the whole thing?) I’d love to hear your reflections on your year. 

One of the things I love most about blogging is the ability to reflect on what’s happening at my life at any given time so I can notice and thank God for my blessings.  Here’s what I’m thanking God for so far: 

-Safe travels…and the opportunity to take FREE photos with Santa at the airport! Christmas card 2011? You saw it here first…

-The church’s Christmas Eve service—beautiful music, a hilarious meditation, a magical setting.  I loved it.

-A coffee date with my Nana.  I always love catching up on all the news from “The Home” (what we call the retirement community she lives in.)  Nana is the head of the Dining Committee there, so I follow the inner workings of the Dining Committee pretty closely.  Last spring, they created a “club” in the Home (one of the residents’ grandsons is the bartender and happy hour is from 4 to 6!) and this fall they had a three month debate about whether pureed food should be served in the formal dining room.  The story had intrigue, politics, and power plays and ended in a blind vote.  Look for the movie soon!

-Eating Christmas Eve dinner with a random man from Argentina (a family tradition—we always invite people who are alone for the holidays over to our house.) It’s wonderful to meet new friends, practice hospitality, learn about a new place, and share our holiday with others.  I didn’t mind the Argentinian wine selection, either!

-Recovery—it’s so nice to eat a holiday meal without being terrified.  I still have my limits but I can participate in so many more things than I used to.  Last night’s lemon pound cake was one example.  Tonight’s pumpkin pie will be another.  GET IN MY BELLY!

-Hanging out with my 10 year old sister for the day a few days ago.  When we got home, my dad asked her how her day was and she told him all about what we had done, then jumped up and down exclaiming, “so happy! so happy! so happy! very very good day!”

-Watching “Tangled” with my 10 year old sister and 20 year old brother.  I loved that we each enjoyed the movie despite our vastly different tastes and that we all got hungry for a snack around the same time. We are related.

-Seeing my sister’s amazing boyfriend, who is spending his first Christmas with us.  Shout out, J—we love you!

-My Christmas gifts! Christmas was out of control this year—it took the family 4.5 hours to open gifts! I had picked out all of the gifts I got from D so they weren’t surprises, but I loved the surprises I got from everyone else! The best present was either my Kindle or the T-shirt my 13 year old brother had ordered for me that said “I beat D in fantasy football!” (True story—our high school youth group boys did a league this year and invited me to join. They lived to regret this decision as I am currently in the championships!)

-Seeing the look on my 10 year old sister’s face when she opened her gift from us—four patterened duct tape rolls for her duct tape wallet business. Who knew duct tape could be so exciting?!

-The Christmas mocha that I am drinking right now in my new sweater and tank top, and the fact that my family knows me enough to give me some alone time to write without being offended.

I’m so happy and blessed and hope you feel the same <3

Love to you from us!

Later, I read a Scientific American blog post on the topic of comfort foods that shed some light on my situation.

Jason Goldman reports that researchers hypothesized:

“Since comfort foods are usually eaten with important social partners, the perceptual experience of eating those foods becomes associated over time with the emotional experience of social comfort. Therefore, the eating (or even just the thinking about eating) of comfort foods will automatically activate the experience of psychological comfort.”

I thought about cinnamon sugar toast, which my mom used to make us as a snack or breakfast when we were busy.  She’d wrap it in aluminum foil so we could eat it on the go.

That Wednesday had been busy.  I was just getting home from work and had an hour to change, make a side dish, respond to several e-mails, and take care of Java before I had to leave again.  It was cold and dark, just like Minnesota mornings; my day had been lonely; D was still at work; Christmas break seemed a long way away and I missed my family…and suddenly, my craving made sense.

I wasn’t really craving cinnamon sugar toast—I was really craving my mom and the way she helps me through busy times and listens to me. But she was at home in Minnesota.

So I made cinnamon toast and thought of her.  And yes, I was comforted.

What’s your comfort food? Who or what does it remind you of? 

On the plus side, at least I finally have some time to blog! Cue applause, confetti, balloons, trumpeting, bird calls, etc.  I’m not on cold meds yet, so I regret to inform you that this post will NOT be brought to you by Sudafed—however, it IS brought to you by the best coffee ever:

(Photo staged in my kitchen this morning…or found here)

Also, by a bagel that I am rapidly devouring.  Like, so rapidly that if you were sitting across from me, you’d be disgusted.  Anyway, tons of stuff has been happening around here.  And by tons, I mean things like this:

-Teen sitting, dog sitting, cat sitting, babysitting.  In the last two weeks, I’ve worked for four clients on this stuff (hello, extra Christmas money!)

Teen sitting was the most time consuming, since last week my life essentially resolved around going to my “real job” and then coming home (to the teens’ house) to chauffeur, monitor, listen, attend their choir concert, etc.  Since I’m from a large family, I’m used to playing all these roles and I miss it.  I actually felt really sad when I left the teens on Saturday afternoon.

-My “real” job.  Our organization’s end of the year campaign is wrapping up and I am trying my best to finish up all the collateral materials we need…only to inevitably find that more are needed.

I feel a little like Sisyphus, only with trifolds and donor impact reports and save the dates and invitations and an e-campaign and oh, keep doing your other job with the students, too.  This made me laugh:

-D and I have been obsessively watching season one of “The Good Wife.” Yesterday, I realized we may have been watching it a bit TOO much when I heard a beeping in the bathroom stall at my gym.  My first thought: bomb.  My second thought: someone’s wearing a wire.

-The school has gone crazy.  Yesterday, I had to physically step in between FOUR fights to stop them from happening, and my fourth period students were so horrible that I gave up on trying to get through our lesson and made them write for the rest of the period.

Poor student: “What do we write about Mrs. X?” 
Me: “I don’t care. I’m going to see if you did it, but I’m not going to waste my time reading it. You guys don’t act like this for other teachers and you are not going to play me like this!”  

Ironically, the lesson was supposed to be on anger management techniques.  I guess I role modeled disengaging from the situation until you are calmer? Maybe?

Actually, I felt very guilty and dejected afterwards.  I’ve never given up on a group of students before (and I’m not permanently giving up…we’re going to talk about what happened on Monday and I’ll try again with all my enthusiasm) but I was so frustrated with them that I felt like the ONLY thing I could do was stop trying or send the entire class into ISS.

I realized later when I almost verbally assaulted someone who was blocking me into my driveway that it was my monthly day of rage (thanks, hormones.) Then I REALLY felt bad, but what can you do? They WERE being horrible, they knew it, I had given them multiple chances, and the students that were behaving didn’t have to write (I let them draw or read instead.) 

I did actually read their writing assignments after class, and most of them did express apology or guilt so I felt a little bit better.  Not my proudest moment though.

-Christmas parties! I have a Christmas party every night this week starting tonight.  D bought me a fun headband, and I intend to rock it as much as possible:

along with this easy smokey eye technique that I learned from Glamour:

 
-Finally, D has a random old man friend in our neighborhood.  He’s a widower with five cats who always comes out and says hello to Java.  Well, said old man had a present for Java the other day: a Santa hat and jingle bell collar, which we HAD to photograph.

Apparently, it was Java’s monthly day of rage, too.

Have a great weekend!

It’s also the hardest time of year in many respects.

I consider myself mostly recovered from an eating disorder, but it’s hard to keep a healthy mindset when I’m constantly exposed to messages about “avoiding holiday weight gain” and “gaining the holiday 7″ and “staying healthy during the holidays” and “eat this, not that.”

I don’t know when it happened in our society, but at some point, these messages have become completely unavoidable.  I hear these messages on TV (and I barely even watch TV!), on magazines, on the radio, on billboards, on direct mailers that come to my house, at the grocery store…I can’t get away.

It’s enough to drive a sane person crazy (and I wouldn’t consider sanity my starting point!)

Anyway, I post this as catharsis, to simply to offer up an understanding hug to all of you who have to deal with this…and to offer a gentle reminder: there is SO much more to the holiday than food!

Please remember the truly important things during this time of year:

Family and close friends

The good news that we celebrate at this time of year

And giving our best to others.

To truly enjoy and participate in these things, we need to take care of ourselves.  I’m doing it over here.  I hope you do it too, wherever you are!

Does anyone else struggle with this time of year?

Well, for the last two weeks, I’ve been trying my own little experiment.  It’s probably not novel, but it’s been fun to implement and I’m excited to share it with you.

My experiment: create happiness each day, and very intentionally enjoy and savor it.  Reflect on that happiness for the rest of the day, and think about it the next day, too.

I had a few rules for myself:

-The ideas needed to be cheap and not huge time-sucks
-I couldn’t repeat ideas (and if I repeated an idea, it didn’t count as my idea for that day—I had to still create a moment using a new idea.)
-The ideas had to creatively expand the definition of “doing something special for myself” and go beyond the 2 or 3 things I usually do when I want to spoil/pamper myself.  (Basically, I couldn’t just get Starbucks every day!)

Here’s a log of what I chose:

Monday, 11/7 - I woke up early and made a delicious sauteed vegetable omelet with goat cheese, which I served to myself with fresh coffee, toast, and papaya.  I read while I ate it.

Tuesday, 11/8 - I made time for myself to go to Zumba (I usually don’t go during the week, but D had a meeting.  Instead of staying at home alone, I went and shook my thang!)

Wednesday, 11/9 – I called my little brother and chatted with him for about 10 minutes.  He’s in middle school and I love hearing what he’s up to.

Thursday, 11/10 - I bought myself a salted caramel mocha in the Starbucks red cup that brings me instant joy and took a walk with a friend.

Friday, 11/11 – I wore a fall sweater (yay!) and spent some time walking in our neighborhood and enjoying the leaves before I left on the middle school retreat.  Fall is very fickle in Florida—it was back to 82 degrees today—so I’m so glad I savored this!

Saturday, 11/12 – I was chaperoning a middle school retreat which entailed very little sleep and I was dealing with cramps (the joy!) so I let myself take a 20 minute afternoon nap on the top bunk before getting back into the high-energy retreat.

Sunday, 11/13 - I intentionally enjoyed the scenery and Taylor Swift as I drove four chatty middle schoolers back from the campground.  I also enjoyed Skyping with my family that evening.

Monday, 11/14 – I enjoyed not cooking as D and I used a gift certificate for dinner.

Tuesday, 11/15 – I enjoyed watching trashy TV at the gym.  We don’t have cable, so the gym is my place to catch up on the Real Housewives!

Wednesday, 11/16 – Not gonna lie, this day really sucked.  I MAY have had a little breakdown at 10 pm when my activities were finally over, and my efforts to find happiness this day may have been in vain.  Still, I cleaned my house before bed so at least I’d feel better and more “together” when I woke up.

Thursday, 11/17 – Late at night, I wrote a blog post reflecting on my insane love for my dog.  Just for good measure…

Friday, 11/18 – I had dinner with a friend from work and said “yes” to a spontaneous invitation for drinks later on.  As I sat there with a group of people I had never met in a bar I’d never go to on my own, I reflected on the joy of meeting interesting new people.

Saturday, 11/19 – I played “ball race” with my friend’s son as I babysat him. His joy was so evident as we ran back and forth to race our balls across the floor over and over.  It was beautiful to savor and enjoy the innocence of a child.

Sunday, 11/20 – I gave myself permission NOT to run some errands and to enjoy my day.  I also took great joy in taking someone to the store and buying her Christmas decorations for her first apartment (along with a can opener…a must-have for a first-time apartment dweller!)

I love the intentionality of creating, savoring, and reflecting on happiness every day, and am definitely going to keep doing this!

Seriously, if you don’t already practice this, try it—and as I always say to my students, “let me know how it goes!” 

I HAVE THE MATERIAL.